Lose Yourself
by dini40seven
Summary: Oliver Wood goes through a very rough time in his life, and begins to seclude himself from everybody while becoming depressed, and is frighteningly obsessed with Quidditch. Songfic to Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’


Lose Yourself ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Title: Lose Yourself Author: Dini40seven Date: March 23, 2003 Rating: PG Summary: Oliver Wood goes through a very rough time in his life, and begins to seclude himself from everybody while becoming depressed, and is frighteningly obsessed with Quidditch. Songfic to Eminem's 'Lose Yourself'  
  
A/N: I don't really like Eminem that much, not at all really. But when I heard 'Lose Yourself', I was so compelled to write this little song fic, though maybe the middle-end of the song don't really fit with the story line. I'll make it fit. It's pretty dark until near the end, it's kind of the world perceived by Oliver Wood. I'm eager for reviews and feedback, but be kind, I'm 'emotionally fragile' according to my friend. Ha ha... and flames will be dealt with accordingly, so don't even bother.  
  
I'm also sorry if there's a ton of spelling errors, grammar errors, I'm a grade eight student and it's 11:30 p.m., I have school tomorrow, and am tired. I'm not used to this.  
  
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Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity  
  
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment  
  
Would you capture it or just let it slip?  
  
Oliver Wood paced the locker room. His team had yet to arrive, but he always liked to come a bit earlier than others. They thought it was hilarious how obsessive he was, and he knew it. But it wasn't 'just Quidditch' to him. It was his life, the very blood that ran through his veins was filled with Quidditch. It's all he thought about, and one day, he'd become a famous player...  
  
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy  
  
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti  
  
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready  
  
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin'  
  
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud  
  
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out  
  
He's chokin', how everybody's jokin now  
  
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!  
  
He stood in front of the large doors. They would soon open to the bright stadium packed with careless people all ready to see just another Quidditch match. But it wasn't 'just another Quidditch match'. Not to him, anyways. He fought to stand up, very nervous. Most people thought it was as natural to him as breathing, and maybe it was, but he still got nervous. He tried to remember his tactics for the game. What were they again? Oh god, he thought. And then, the doors opened. He was facing the cheering students of Hogwarts.  
  
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity  
  
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked  
  
He's so mad, but he won't give up that  
  
Is he? No  
  
He won't have it , he knows his whole back city's ropes  
  
It don't matter, he's dope  
  
He knows that, but he's broke  
  
He's so stacked that he knows  
  
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's  
  
Back to the lab again yo This whole rap shit  
  
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him  
  
There he went - he zoomed into the air. The familiar feeling of air on his face - his body. He flew to the poasts and floated there, ready for anything, alert to even the slightest noise or movement. He looked over to one of the chasers. They were shaking and nervously avoiding the game. He knew they were no good for the team, but he was out voted. It made him furious. How come no one took Quidditch as seriously as him? Was it a joke to them? When this game was over he would have a good talk with his team. Show them why they were wrong.  
  
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment  
  
You own it, you better never let it go  
  
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow  
  
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo  
  
He could feel the tension. It was Gryffindor 50, Slytherin 10. Both team's seekers were furiously on the lookout for the Snitch. But he knew his own seeker would catch the snitch. He felt a grin appear on his face. This was his moment - this was where he belonged. This game practically determined who was going to be in the Championship. And it would be Gryffindor. Ravenclaw would be playing them for the Championship. And of course, Gryffindor was better. He wanted to win so badly.  
  
The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping  
  
This world is mine for the taking  
  
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order  
  
A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortar  
  
It only grows harder, only grows hotter  
  
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him  
  
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Oliver knew he was slipping. Quidditch consumed his life, it was everything to him. But it was what he WAS. He would conquer the Quidditch scene, people would love him. He almost pitied the ones who couldn't experience this, the ones who could only watch. But it wasn't all easy. It was eating him alive.  
  
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter  
  
Lonely roads, God only knows  
  
He's grown farther from home, he's no father  
  
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter  
  
But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water  
  
His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product  
  
They might love him. No, he knew they loved him. They loved Oliver for his talent on the pitch. But that was about all they even knew about Oliver. He was slipping away from his friends, his family, his life. The other day, he had gone down in the common room late at night and tried to blend in with a party being thrown on by Fred and George Weasley. People stared at him in shock - why wasn't he sitting on his bed, working on Quidditch tactics? And another day in class, instead of sitting alone, hurrying to complete his work so he could get back to thinking quietly, he joined a group of his fellow classmates, and they just looked at him oddly like he didn't belong, and turned away.  
  
Oliver knew he was a semi-good looking boy. He used to have girls flirting with him all the time. He would brush them off and stalk off, alone. But there was this one girl, perhaps the only other thing ever on his mind. He went off to talk to her, and although before she had claimed to like him, she just laughed, and walked off. He was heartbroken. But Quidditch filled that gap.  
  
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows  
  
He nose dove and sold nada  
  
So the soap opera is told and unfolds  
  
I suppose it's old potna, but the beat goes on  
  
Da da dum da dum da da  
  
So, he was to be alone for the rest of his Hogwarts life. It would be OK. He always had Quidditch. He didn't need friends or family. He had Quidditch, so he would be alright.  
  
No more games, I'ma change what you call rage  
  
Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged  
  
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed  
  
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage  
  
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher  
  
Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper  
  
He would go on. He was going to be stronger, better! He began to fight in Quidditch games like never before. He was no longer the shy, quiet one with the enormous passion for Quidditch. He was angry. He was no longer playing. His own teammates were becoming frightened of him. But it was OK. Because he didn't need anybody.  
  
All the pain inside amplified by the fact  
  
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5  
  
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family  
  
Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers  
  
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life  
  
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder  
  
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus  
  
See dishonor caught up bein a father and a prima donna  
  
Baby mama drama's screamin on  
  
And soon, things began to catch up with Oliver. He was pained by being angry. He hated it. He was no longer just being ignored or left out, he was being avoided. People would scamper off if he walked down the halls. And he just wanted to cry. But guys don't cry. So he held it inside, although it was destroying everything - his chances at Quidditch. And his grades were slipping. He never used to be slow with work, he was actually a very smart boy. But he assumed his teachers were nervous around him, as well. And all he wanted was to have friends. He envied Fred and George, they had it all. Talent on the pitch, humour, friends, family... oh how he loathed it. And there was something else nagging at him. The girl. The girl who had laughed at him, he wanted her. He wanted her so badly. Too much for me to wanna  
  
Stay in one spot, another jam or not  
  
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail  
  
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot  
  
Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not  
  
Mom, I love you, but this trail has got to go  
  
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot  
  
So here I go is my shot.  
  
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got  
  
I have to change, he thought. He thought steadily for hours on end about how he was going to regain people's liking. But he didn't know how - he considered talking to Fred or George. But that would be silly. He had every opportunity as well, they could speak in the common room, on the pitch at practise, in the locker room, but no. Oliver Wood was a coward in his own mind. But he couldn't stay that way, he wouldn't. And one day, a miracle happened. The girl, the girl he fancied so much came up to him at lunch.  
  
'May I sit down?' She asked politely.  
  
"Of - Of course....' Oliver stuttered nervously, dropping his cold turkey sandwich.  
  
'Oliver, you've been really secretive lately. Even a little frightening. I want to talk to you about it, I care about you, you know. And I know you care about me. Please, just talk to me.'  
  
And that changed it. Suddenly, Oliver grabbed her wrist and gently guided her out of the great hall and into a secret location he once found, where he used to write notes on Quidditch when the noise of the Gryffindor common room became unbearable. He told her everything there. And he broke down and cried. He leaned his head on her chest as he sobbed and she soothingly whispered and patted his head comfortingly.  
  
You can do anything you set your mind to, man  
  
Two months later, Oliver walked hand in hand down the hall with Natalie, the girl, in a group of his friends. People were saying hello to him in the halls, now. Quidditch was still very important, but so was school, family, and friends. All because of her - and he knew, anything was possible. 


End file.
